December 2001

12/7/2001

I've lost my soul. I keep trying to find it but it seems to be hiding in a dark place. I've got to get my shit together, what the fuck is my problem? These thoughts keep coming but I seem to be fairing pretty well against the onslaught. 

12/12/2001

The end of the year is drawing nearer and I seem to be digging myself into a deeper hole. I've managed to fuck school up while still lying to my parents and saying that all is well. Nothing could be further from the truth. I continuously make a disaster of every situation that I put myself in. I fear that while my intentions are good , me will power won't hold out.I swear as each year goes by I find myself saying and doing things that I don't recognize as myself. I'm just waiting for the next uneventful day. I think that's all I have today. Wish me luck in the trial of my will power.

12/29/2001

It seems to me that every year I start out ok then steadily fall into a downward spiral. When the new year comes around I'm at the bottom. Then I start the cycle all over again. I wonder if it will ever stop?