November 2001

11/7/2001

What do you do when you're destined to live a life of loneliness and pain? This question has troubled my mind lately. Who know's ? I guess I'll never really be able to understand. Maybe it's all just part of the great scheme. Can I find one answer? I've yet to discover the meaning of this life but rest assured I will have to spend the rest of my days searching for it. I've been debating giving up drinking. I've said this before and I'll probably never quit but I think it's worth a try. Like the Ozzman once said " I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired"

11/8/2001

Today is Friday and it means nothing to me. I remember when I looked forward to the weekend, now it's a burden. I somehow feel obligated to drink and socialize when all I want to do is read and write. It's as if having fun has become a chore. I get no joy out of what used to be the most important part of my life. This is my only outlet. The only way to stay sane.

11/13/2001

Yesterday I went to jail for driving on a suspended licence and possession of marijuana. After I posted bail in Lee County I had to wait for Monroe County to come and get me and then post bond there. This completely fucking sucks! I can't win for losing. It seems every time I start getting my shit together something comes to slap me back down again!

11/20/2001

It's two days until Thanksgiving and I have nothing to be thankful for except life. I can't really think of anything to write about.