October 2001

10/14/2001

I'm 21. What comes next? Nothing has changed but I've been drinking more and more. I have court tomorrow but I don't know what will happen. I'm so tired of not knowing what to do with my life. It's like trying to find a path in a dark forest, you know it's there but you still can't tell where you are going. I've also noticed that I'm becoming more hostile. I did nothing this weekend. I do nothing every weekend. I just sit at my house or someone else's and get drunk. 

10/28/2001

I just got back from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It was awesome! We threw rice and toast and sang along, it was fucking cool! 

10/29/2001

I've got to do something about the lack of feeling in my life. I've spent so much time becoming immune to emotion and now all those years of numbness are catching up with me. It's a vicious cycle that will probably last the rest of my life. Oh yeah! It's two days until All Hallow's Eve and this Samhain it's going to be a full moon!! The conditions are perfect for evil , I hope I don't release too much. I've been contemplating some whiskey but I don't think it's such a good idea. Better hold off. That's enough for now I'll let you know what happens.